when you don’t know where you belong, are caught between pressures of two cultures and you wonder if this all there is to life…

You did what they told you to.
You have the well-paying job. The bank account. You’ve done everything right. And your family back home gushes about this with everyone they can. They are so proud of your success in the United States- from the grad school you went to, to the job you now hold and the house you live in.
Maybe you went further and now have a family of your own too. You provide well, show up to work and your obligations every day, stay out of everything that sounds like drama and have devoted most of your life to sustaining the life you have created…one check list at a time.

It all looks perfect from the outside…

Then why is it that you silently struggle with anger you are not allowed to express? Retreat into an inexplainable silence when you come home from work? You feel secret shame surging within when you see your parents call on Sunday morning and dont want to answer their call- You are grateful for the sacrifices they made to contribute to the life you now have. You also feel resentful of the on going expectations, rules and pressures you have to follow. You appreciate the family you now have or feel “fine” about the steps you are taking to create it. But the dissatisfaction and frustration within is palpable. It is beginning to affect your health, your mood, your appetite and sleep. Maybe even your relationships.
This is not how it was supposed to be. If you did everything right…you were supposed to feel happy.
”Happy”….a word you feel no connection to now.

You can’t say “No” to it all- that is not how you were raised or what is acceptable. But you also cannot continue living like this.
This is a tough spot. As a South Asian immigrant myself, I get this at a personal level. I mean, I am a therapist- I am pretty certain that loved ones back home are still waiting for me to get a “real job” (aka engineer or doctor). South Asian culture comes with a set of rules that are hard to break and hard to follow. The consequence of never breaking them is deep pain within. The consequence of breaking them is risk of losing family, approval, respect and being outcasted in more ways than not.
I work with clients just like you, to find ways to break the rules you want without breaking your life apart. Your quality of life can absolutely improve- you will sleep better, feel more content and fulfilled and take the risks that make you feel alive and like yourself while keeping the parts of your life that work, intact.
We South Asians are on the margins of a world where one is either deeply and unfairly deprived or incredibly privileged. We don’t know where we belong just yet. And that shows up in our personal lives in more ways than most realize.
Seeing a therapist is not a sign of your failure, weakness or a jab at your family. It is a sign of your strength and commitment to figure life out

You don’t DIY when it comes to blood pressure issues or other health concerns. Why not brainstorm with an expert about your mental health, your marriage, your life?
Call me, fellow immigrant. If nothing, for an hour a week you will feel less alone, completely understood and deeply supported in all you care about. And I know you could use some ease somewhere in your life.